WE CARE!!

2004-05-16 [dwb_bilbo]: Do you know what he is going to do?

2004-05-16 [Kelaria]: *sigh* not really...

2004-05-16 [dwb_bilbo]: Are you going to go visit him sometime soon?

2004-05-16 [Kelaria]: i dont know... my parents wont let me :(

2004-05-16 [dwb_bilbo]: yeah, hes 20somethin aint he?

2004-05-16 [Kelaria]: yep

2004-05-17 [dwb_bilbo]: Your parents probably dont like the age difference, right?

2004-05-17 [Kelaria]: no, they dont mind... well my mom doesnt at least... it's just that he lied to me... he told me he was in college at the College of Charleston... and then he kept the lie going for months, building on it... honestly? I dont know why I'm still with him... he causes me so much damn pain! I love him, yes, but every time I forgive him he just ends up hurting me again! and not even on purpose!!

2004-05-17 [dwb_bilbo]: well, guys do that. I couldnt make a distance relationship last while I was in P'cola. I really cared about her too, its just so far. now I'm married and have a son, so the distance isn't as hard because I know we'll ALWAYS be there for each other, whereas with a bf/gf relationship, no guarantees. No matter how much you say there is a strong commitment, there isn't.

2004-05-17 [Kelaria]: Yes, but this has affected my whole life! I'm falling very behind in school and I dont even really care about school anymore... I used to care so much... and also I physically mutilate myself every time I feel depressed...

2004-05-17 [dwb_bilbo]: Ok, I'm playing to be funny but, why would you hurt yourself with all those cats around that you could hurt instead. Ok, end joke. Not funny. But I think you are a pretty girl and need to always remember that in order to TRULY be able to love someone and care about them, you have to be number one. Your life and future have to be secure in your heart and mind to feel secure with someone else. Know that you always have people to care for you and be there to talk to. I don't even know what this guy does to hurt you but it cant be good.

2004-05-17 [Kelaria]: He's a good person... but he just... I dont know... the problem is... I get really depressed when I cant talk to him... unless I know where he is and what he's doing and when he'll be back...

2004-05-17 [dwb_bilbo]: Yeah. I know how you feel. My wife and I got Nextel Direct Connect, so we can page each other and talk all the time. It is quite a boon. Without it I'm sure thee would be much more hostility. When I get to Japan we are going to have Webcam conversations and that should be good.

2004-05-17 [Kelaria]: *nods* I'm happy for you, you are truly blessed...

2004-05-17 [dwb_bilbo]: Communication is the most important part of a relationship. Tell him that the lack of communication really depresses you and maybe you guys should do something to remedy it. Like the phones we got. I don't know what your options are but I'm just throwing out ideas.

2004-05-17 [Kelaria]: yeah... the problem is we both dont have much money... especially since, trying to communicate, we ran up our cell phone bills quite a lot last month :(

2004-05-17 [dwb_bilbo]: Cell phones tend to do that.

2004-05-17 [dwb_bilbo]: Do you both have a computer?

2004-05-17 [Kelaria]: I have one, but his isnt hooked up to the internet down there, so he can only get on at the library... which isnt very often...

2004-05-17 [dwb_bilbo]: That would help the situation a bit. Free communication. How long will he be there?

2004-05-17 [Kelaria]: *sigh* I dont know...